[ Outside HiMERU's window at Datura Hall, he might hear something banging against the glass. He probably already knows what this is, and he might not even want to answer it. That's okay.
Because Rinne throws a rock to break it. ]
Ah, nothing like the cool autumn air in the morning!
[ Avoiding the shards of glass, Rinne reaches his arm in and unlocks HiMERU's window from the outside. What floor is he on? It doesn't matter. Rinne is crazy enough to be here now. He opens the window and invites himself it. ]
Rise and shine, Merumeru! You didn't really want poor Rinne-kyun to freeze outside, did you?
[ HiMERU receives a text. Considering how HiMERU reacted about Tatsumi after their last job together, he's too hesitant to make a jab. So he sends a text. ]
Reckoned someone oughta tell you another Alkaloid showed up. Not Love-han.
[Even after reading, it takes a good while to respond. Several minutes pass with an intermittent HiMERU is typing... before stopping, then resuming again, and stopping once more. This goes on and repeats itself for almost ten minutes, before finally, with long pauses between each message again:]
[He's not thrilled to have another visitor, given how the last one went. At this point in time the glass has been cleared from the broken window, which has been covered with a thick blanket and the back of a dresser. It's easy enough to hear the voice behind it though, and with some shuffling, a disgruntled yellow eye pokes through the gap in the blanket. It blinks, and then a hand moves the cloth to reveal HiMERU's face, frowning still but more in confusion than his initial displeasure.]
Shiina? If you needed anything, HiMERU is only a text away, as he's said.
[Possibly the most gentle way he can phrase 'what are you even here for.' Though, the bundle in Niki's arms is likely an indication of that.]
[The night of the infoshare meeting, HiMERU receives a tiny visitor in the middle of the night. The paper doll wiggles its way through the boarded-up remnants of his window and zooms over his bed, where it hovers patiently for a moment, then paps him right square in the middle of his face.]
[Enclosed, a message:]
Himeru-san, (written in hiragana, because He Doesn't Know,)
I would like to discuss a matter from the meeting with you urgently.
I am waiting outside. Please open the door.
-Matoba
[He's waiting. He's being patient. But the shikigami will not stop until the door is opened... Even if he has to fill his apartment with them like moths.]
[He's dead asleep, as he should be, when Matoba comes along with his antics. It's been an exhausting 24 hours and he still hasn't felt that tiredness in his bones flag at all. Normally, he wouldn't have come back here at night. He's taken to spending the nights on the other side, but... he couldn't let Kaname see him like this, after he made a mistake and hasn't recovered from it still.
But it's alright. Just one more day. He'll be back tomorrow. Kaname will be expecting him. He can't let him down...
It takes more than one smack for him to be roused from his deep sleep, swatting it away like an annoying fly — but unlike a fly, it clings to his fingers, jumping into his face again, insisting that it be read...!
And blearily, he can make out some scrawl on the otherwise white doll. He blinks, once. Twice.
And sighs.
It does take time for him to wobble out of bed, but by the time he's opening the door to let Matoba in, he has enough of his faculties to look annoyed. The blankets he's shrouded himself in really chip at the severity of it, though.]
Do you know what time it is.
[His voice is quiet and thick with sleep, but the agitation comes through nonetheless.]
[ Things Tatsumi should be doing: staying in bed, getting lots of rest, and drinking plenty of fluids.
Things Tatsumi is currently doing: not staying in bed, not resting, and drinking plenty of fluids.
In short, while Tatsumi may not be the worst patient in the universe he's very bad at knowing his own limits. He'd felt pretty good when he first woke up, and with Mayoi having temporarily stepped out he quickly grew tired of just sitting and waiting. So he got up. Surely a quick trip downstairs won't do him any harm.
And while that has yet to be seen, there's no denying that coming down the stairs has thoroughly winded him. So now he sits at their shared kitchen table, swaying just so in his seat, with a mostly empty cup of water in front of him. He's fine, he's sure, but... maybe he should just wait here for a moment. ]
[Ever since knowing that Mayoi and Tatsumi were bedridden with illness, HiMERU has been enjoying a little more freedom at the Poppy house again; despite his denials that anything has changed since Tatsumi's arrival, it was clear to just about anyone willing to pay the attention that his visits had certainly decreased in frequency, increasing in brevity... But now that the eyesore is tucked out of view, he doesn't mind spending as much of his time here.
It's quiet for the middle of the day, and HiMERU supposes that most everyone is out. Well, that's no problem for him. He'll just raid the pantry and be on his way again. At least, that's the plan — until he steps into the kitchen and sees Tatsumi sitting in the middle of it.
The unwanted sight makes him immediately freeze, and for a moment, he considers just turning around and slipping out before he's noticed. But the heavy door behind him swings shut, loudly enough to not be ignored. As if to trap him. As if to spite him.
... Damn it. Might as well nip this in the bud, then.
He steps over into Tatsumi's line of sight with a bemused expression, a hand on his hip.]
Tatsumi. It's been a while. You don't look well, just as they've said. Shouldn't you still be in bed?
[That day, entirely out of the blue, HiMERU receives a text: "Can I talk to you? It's important." They might exchange a few messages, but Niki never explains what's wrong—just that they need to talk, it's super important, and can they meet somewhere? His only requirement is that they meet anywhere but their house.
HiMERU might never know just how long it even takes Niki to send this text in the first place. He writes, deletes, and rewrites this message over and over again for a while, trying to figure out the best way to ask without sounding too needy, debating the pros and cons of letting himself be this honest, wondering if it's even okay for him to ask for anything at all. Besides, maybe it's not actually that big of a deal? He's done this before, after all. He trusted Rinne. Niki could handle this alone. He always has.
That's what he tells himself, but he hasn't felt this anxious since... that first day here. And maybe that's why he's got such a bad feeling about it now.
Today feels a lot colder than usual, but maybe it's just him. He waits patiently(?) for HiMERU wherever they decide to meet, but his nerves are acting up and he still doesn't even know what he's going to say to him. But the message is out there, they agreed, and so he's committed now. He has to say something. He'll go crazy if he doesn't.]
[HiMERU will predictably invite Niki over to his apartment again for this conversation. It's been enough time that he was able to clean and bring his temporary residence into some semblance of livable again, after the bloody mess the entire hall had become the night of the attacks. He's gotten the window fixed again too, this time by Diluc, for what will hopefully be permanent this time.
Niki has... never sought him out like this before. HiMERU was almost always the only one initiating "important talks" with the others, should he discuss with them at all, and he often didn't expect Niki to absorb it. So the fact that he's approaching him now with something important leaves him anticipating. There's a number of things it could be in regards to, at this point... but he trusts Niki enough to keep it relevant at a crucial time like this. That this must be truly important, and not just "important."
So, when Niki arrives, HiMERU offers him a polite smile. Not one he feels necessary between them anymore, but on a day like this, something has him suspecting Niki needs a little kindness.]
Welcome. Feel free to sit wherever, Shiina. Would you like a drink?
[The only choices are between tea and water, but it's nice to offer anyway.]
not just because lately, his brother has been around more -- as if god heard his wish and granted it, despite the worry lines that crease HiMERU's face when he thinks kaname isn't looking -- but... in general, after that day with narukami. he can't scrap off the memories that line the kitchen she taught him in, the conversations they had and the end that befell her, nor the aftermath of it all; it sits like rust on iron, rot in wood, weakening everything around him.
it feels like he doesn't deserve to do this. but kaname wants to get his mind off the world outside anyway, and so once he's certain his brother is sleeping he puts to practice the things he learned from narukami, the improvements from shiina...
... and HiMERU won't find kaname in his bed like normal come morning, but slumped over the table in the kitchen with a blanket over his shoulders by what staff is left these days, the room itself cleaned and a small plate of chocolates by his sleeping form.
they still aren't professional. some of the pawprint, flower petal, and star solids are broken in his tired efforts to unstick them from their molds. the rounded truffles with drizzled darker cocoa look nice enough, if a little sloppy in their own way. whatever the rest of the day holds doesn't matter -- he'd still wanted to do this, and it felt like he had to after he'd so thoughtlessly pushed narukami so far. ]
[The days grow more and more suffocating for everyone, and it shows.
Not only the commuters from the Nest like himself, but the townsfolk too are beleaguered by their anxieties, some of them turning volatile, others succumbing to the wrinkles set in their brows and the near-constant look of tears threatening to spill over. They're scared, and they have reason to be. It's all the more reason, too, for him to be on this side.
He's spent too much time going back and forth, keeping his pessimism at bay with his pragmatism; surely with all the work he's put into this — not only him but the rest of the residents as well — they'd find an answer. A better solution than waiting for death. Surely, surely.
Their days have always been numbered, but it really does seem to be coming to the end, lately. He's wondering which of these times will be his last making the cross over. Will he be stuck on this side or that when the portal falls away?
Well, he doesn't have to wonder. There's no need for the guessing game when he can guarantee the results.
It's with those thoughts that he opens his eyes, blinking blearily at the ceiling above Kaname's bed. Morning. The world is ending just outside, but even then the sun in this pocket dimension still rises.
... The space beside him is empty. Well, that's fine. He'll just close his eyes again and— no.
No. He sits up, suddenly, eyes flying open once more. No, no. After all that's happened, he has to keep a better eye on him. HiMERU pushes himself out of bed and wobbles through the inn room, looking for any signs of where Kaname might've gone. His shoes are missing... and HiMERU hurries down the stairs, scrubbing a hand over his face and through his hair in case he needs to check outside, too — but for a mercy, he finds a spot of blue hair in the large kitchen, and he hurries over to confirm.
He's... sleeping. Good. One hand pinches the blanket and pulling it further up Kaname's shoulders, and then settles over his back. Now that he's sure his brother hadn't gone anywhere too far again, HiMERU lets himself lean against the table too, and finally looks at what's spread over it.
... Chocolates? Is this what Kaname had slipped out of bed to do?]
( ...normally she'd call, not text, but she's still a little choked up thanks to her knights, so bear with her. For like, at least five minutes. Man, it's so much easier to be casual and cool like this. )
A little birdie told me I shouldn't make you worry more than I already have, sooooo... I'm okay. All in one piece! ♪ My gemstone's all good, too, since I know that's super important and everything. You been okay, dear? You haven't gotten into any trouble like those awful Amagi boys did, have you?
[While the incoming message does come as a surprise, he doesn't have to even wonder how she got his contact information. It isn't particularly hard to figure out.]
Narukami-san. It is genuinely a relief to hear you've returned safely. So you've heard about the Amagis... No, HiMERU and his brother have escaped every danger, and that is plenty to be thankful for, given the circumstances surrounding us all.
[They totally could've died too. But they didn't!!!]
We are in the process of moving into a larger home now that we are both here to stay. Have you made arrangements for yourself yet?
( Are these Valentine's Day cards technically a day late? Yes. Does it matter? Absolutely not.
HiMERU will find his card beside Yodaka's on the kitchen counter bright and early in the morning; they're easy to tell apart though, their names written on them in Arashi's loose script. HiMERU's card in particular is decorated with small, white baby breath's flowers made of paper along its spine, and inside is a message from Arashi: )
Dear HiMERU-chan,
Happy Valentine's Day! I'll cut to the chase on this one. Baby's breath is a flower that represents gratitude, and maybe that's not really the kind of feeling someone usually shares on such a wonderfully romantic holiday like this normally... but I really am grateful for everything you've done for me since I showed up. You can be as modest as you like, but you've totally saved my tush on more than one occasion. It's embarrassing to list them all though, so I won't!
You know, I think most people find it easier to put their feelings down on paper, but for me, it's just weirdly difficult. Your card is the third one I've written today, and yet it hasn't gotten any easier at all!!!!! It's so frustrating to discover there's still stuff out there that I'm no good at...
Maybe it's easier to write than I thought, actually, since I feel like I've gotten off track here! It's easy to do that with you anyway, though. I hope we can keep getting along from here on after, HiMERU-chan. I'm looking forward to it.
[ going to get to others later wanted to do yours while i had the thought,
kaname had decided very, very late that he was going to do something, and... yes they're going to more or less be a day late for everyone else proper, but he's been busy and his mind wrapped up in nervousness, so it's only once the reason for that nervousness is gone that he's satisfied. HiMERU's more likely to wake up than not at someone crawling into his bed late at night, but frankly kaname had been so careful and quiet in setting the chocolates where he could in his brother's room that looking at the bed where the other laid had been...
frankly, irresistible. let his brother fuss at him, he's so tired he can't begin to care right now. he'll care in the morning, but for now he's dropping on HiMERU and clinging just a little, hand clutching the other's shirt with a sweet scent wafting off him. ]
[After a long and successful day of Arashi's Love Fes, of course he was hardly of the mind to expect anything more. His housemates had both done plenty, and were deserving of the rest they'd gotten that night, too. It almost made HiMERU wish he'd been of more help as well, but he had been sick for many of the days leading up to the event, and even now it was admittedly difficult to shake the fatigue completely, so...
When his mattress dips with the weight of someone else, he doesn't completely register it at first; it's enough to make his brow furrow slightly in his sleep, but what really draws a reaction is the delicate touch, the enticing scent...
His arms stretch out perhaps a little too easily, wrapping around whatever has entered his space and drawing it closer into him. His face, too buries into a head of sweet-smelling hair, nuzzling gently as it puts him further at ease, drifting off into an even deeper sleep...]
[ because at this point, he probably knows where himeru lives thanks to kaname. that or he just like. he knows. they left each other on good terms. he's a smart beastman. maybe it's ~*~magic~*~
but he's planned to do this when kaname is probably not home. what he wants and needs is to get himeru by himself. yes, he could've done this out in public somewhere. drag the guy into an alley and make him talk (slightly w/ aggression)
knock knock.
someone's at the door.
he'll give him a few moments to answer. otherwise, he knows he can just use his phone.
or he can kool-aid man his way in, i said i'd do it ]
[PLEASEEEEE no kool-aid cat he can't have another breach in his new house too. unless leona's wanting to fix it, AGAIN
Thankfully, Leona is not made to wait long. HiMERU opens the door, thinking he'll find Kaname who's turned around and looped back after realizing he'd forgotten something — but his anticipation is dashed when he finds the beastman instead.
His blinks are slow, thick with surprise, but his expression remains still as a lake's surface even as he's careening through a thousand different emotions just beneath the facade: Shock, confusion, realization, remorse... awkwardness. Just to name a few. Sure, he's usually the one doing the dragging into alleys so that could've been a first in its own — but this sheepishness is a new sensation, too.
HiMERU steps back with the door wide open, gesturing loosely with an arm to guide Leona in.]
What a pleasant, if not unexpected surprise. Welcome. If it's Yodaka you're looking for, though... You've just missed him.
[Yeah, the brother he didn't tell you about definitely told him about you.]
( First thing's first: there's a picture of Arashi and Yodaka!! She's smiling and throwing up a peace sign, her arm around Yodaka. Meanwhile, HiMERU's poor hapless brother looks tense and spooked, like this had been a total surprise to him--because it was. There's flowers around the borders, cute cat ears on both of them, hearts around her and stars around him, and... #1 Fan beneath Arashi, too, as if implying she's Yodaka's fan.
It's a cute friendly picture, obivously made with a purikura-style phone all!! Look at them, best of friends, super close-- )
HiMERU-chan, I'm gonna ask you something and it's gonna define our relationship for the rest of our lives, alright? Answer honestly!!!!
[There's an unannounced visitor at HiMERU's door! Usually, Niki would let HiMERU know that he's stopping by in advance, but this is meant to be a surprise, and since he knows HiMERU has roommates(!) now, he's not worried about not receiving a response. Either way, Niki knocks on the door and waits patiently for an answer. HiMERU will notice Niki isn't empty-handed—in his hands, he holds a couple cute, colorful boxes, the kind that likely indicate baked goods. (Because that's what they are! It probably smells good.)]
[Even after moving back into a proper house, there's a tepid degree of wariness in answering the call of unexpected visitors, borne from a few too many unpleasant surprises back in the Datura apartment and a habit carried over into their new home — and though he is careful to mask the edge of suspicion as he answers the door, there is a distinct unfurling tension in his shoulders when he recognizes the non-threatening visage on the other side of the threshold.]
Shiina, [He exhales in quiet relief, blinking slowly at the other, then to the boxes in his hands, then back up again.] What's the occasion?
[Rinne's calls are never a good sign. More often than anything else, they're annoying — a form of harassment when text isn't getting through to HiMERU (deliberately or otherwise) and in-person just isn't possible — but when not that, they're inconvenient... or bringing inconvenient concerns with them. Still, he has always said it is better to call when it's actually important, even if it never is.
Surely, this will be no different.
He answers with a dryness not unusual for Rinne, but maybe so with anyone else.]
he has to be perfectly fine. absolute concentration. eyes glued. he won't make a single mistake. his brother cannot know he is... well, narukami thinks something is wrong with him so his brother cannot think that there is whatever narukami thinks is wrong with him. right. okay. what was he doing this for again? oh right-- ]
taka-nii, what are semantics?
[ give him a definition like you're a dictionary. i'm so sorry he only texts his brother for this reason now. ]
[These are definitely things one can just pick up a dictionary for, and HiMERU might suggest that if he were feeling dismissive. But it's about the positive reinforcement of communication between family, right? And it's a good thing he likes teaching, even if the things his brother asks about are sometimes a little............ Well, he'd prefer Kaname asked him rather than learning from someone else, on those occasions.]
Semantics would be the study of how the meaning of words can be interpreted, especially their differences in interpretation across time and cultures.
( It's nice that neither of her housemates are ever particularly hard to find--though the one she's settling next to on the couch isn't her usual brother to spend time with (whether she likes it or not--though that's dampened somewhat in the past two or so weeks) (don't comment on it). She's only a little sorry to interrupt his reading as she neatly slides a notepad in front of his book, along with a pen. )
Can you do me a favor and write down what you'd like for your birthday, HiMERU-chan? You and Yodaka-chan did such a lovely job celebrating me I like, want to make sure that I can repay that in full. ( ... ) And he already gave me plenty of ideas for his own, so I don't have to worry about him.
[ it's been a lot easier just to ignore the things he'd left back home, the more people emphasized that they didn't matter, that they couldn't reach him here, and while it'd been slow at first kaname had begun to accept his freedom, his independence, and learned from others what it meant to have a life outside of the wish his mother had left for him. he learned small happinesses and fun, the frustrations a boy his age should have, and everything inbetween.
really, it's probably all HiMERU could have wanted for his little brother and more. it must be nice, being able to see him smile so brightly every day and chat about his going ons, from venting about more minor things to being giddy about others... the end of march had dampened it as much as it had everyone, of course, but time moves on, time eases all pain.
...
that pain is why kaname waited a little longer than he should've, because regardless of the playful rumors he and narukami share together shiina and amagi were important to his brother and he knows that. kaname knows loss. it what brought him to seek out hiiro, and from that conversation this one would be born.
preamble aside, kaname isn't sure where he wants to talk about it -- so he asks his brother to take a walk with him instead. while he'd love to walk under the slowly greening trees of the forest he's heard, he's seen things, past the line and knows better than to venture too close; they can go the other way, sit in the plains between the town and the church. it'll be fun.
the soundproofing of the grass'll be nice too.
but it's still hard to start, so at first it is just a pleasant time out -- maybe HiMERU has a book to read while kaname weaves the grass into the start of a basket the way akane showed him, and he thinks of how he hasn't seen her as of late. something nice and relaxing, with little chitchat. ]
... Taka-nii, [ he starts as he finally works up the courage, ] we need to talk.
[ as if they weren't already, just a lull between one topic and the next. kaname keeps his face turned down, threading the lengthy grass turn after turn. it's the only thing keeping him from trembling. ]
[These days, his focus is full of holes, a sign he had been taking it far too easy. Which is a hell of a sentence to say in such dire straits as these. They had made themselves too comfortable, happily playing house in this prison they've almost contented themselves to stay caged in, focusing all their energy on all the wrong things, picking up on all the details that won't ever matter and picking their teeth with the bones of red herrings, and that is why lately, he finds himself counting.
It was only after Amagi and Shiina had died that he realized all that was slipping away, right from his side. Sometimes it feels as though it's a result of him moving too quickly, and other times he wonders if he's been moving at all. Regardless, time doesn't stop for him or anyone else still here.
It started with counting the days, because he could never let himself forget the moment he got that call, the scene he arrived to, the way the night fell after and day rose the next, irreverent. Then the items as they cleaned the home. The forks. The spoons. The plates. The bowls. The coats. The cards. The figurines. Everything theirs, all of theirs, still theirs. He counts it, and it's useless to know, but he stores it like he's got everything more to lose, and he does.
Even Kaname. Kaname is slipping away too, even when they're walking beside each other. HiMERU would defy fate itself to keep that from happening, but that too, in a way, is surrendering to its inevitability. They were fools to ever feel safe, and while his computations keel into overdrive, silently scrambling still for a solution, he quantifies his dwindling moments in an itemized list scrawled on the walls of his brain.
Every step through their path, every turn of a page, every smiling breath, every fold of the grass. Every beat in between, where a song could've started, but didn't.]
... Yes? [He responds evenly as ever, the subtle turn of his brother's tone enough encouragement to lift his eyes up from the page, gaze falling gently on the younger boy's focused expression. Avoiding eye contact.
A gentle breeze runs against his back, tickling the ends of his hair, tied neatly at his nape. It's long. ... It's been too long.]
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the morning after the meeting/tsukasa learns about his murder
Because Rinne throws a rock to break it. ]
Ah, nothing like the cool autumn air in the morning!
[ Avoiding the shards of glass, Rinne reaches his arm in and unlocks HiMERU's window from the outside. What floor is he on? It doesn't matter. Rinne is crazy enough to be here now. He opens the window and invites himself it. ]
Rise and shine, Merumeru! You didn't really want poor Rinne-kyun to freeze outside, did you?
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Once he realizes who the intruder is, he hesitates.
—Only to raise the weapon even higher.]
Fucking lunatic. I just moved in here!
[Oh, he's pissed.]
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Whenever Tatsumi shows up
Reckoned someone oughta tell you another Alkaloid showed up. Not Love-han.
(jun vc) GODDAMN
[Even after reading, it takes a good while to respond. Several minutes pass with an intermittent HiMERU is typing... before stopping, then resuming again, and stopping once more. This goes on and repeats itself for almost ten minutes, before finally, with long pauses between each message again:]
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Okay.
Thanks.
[Two words and a symbol and there is pain behind every single one.]
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before the dec event
Knock, knock~ [He's not actually knocking, of course. There's nothing to knock on, and his hands are full anyway.] Are you home, HiMERU-kun?
[Look, he's not happy about this, either, but it's convenient. As for what Niki's carrying, it's a modest pile of blankets.]
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Shiina? If you needed anything, HiMERU is only a text away, as he's said.
[Possibly the most gentle way he can phrase 'what are you even here for.' Though, the bundle in Niki's arms is likely an indication of that.]
... And that is?
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a terrible visitor
[Enclosed, a message:]
Himeru-san, (written in hiragana, because He Doesn't Know,)
I would like to discuss a matter from the meeting with you urgently.
I am waiting outside. Please open the door.
-Matoba
[He's waiting. He's being patient. But the shikigami will not stop until the door is opened... Even if he has to fill his apartment with them like moths.]
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But it's alright. Just one more day. He'll be back tomorrow. Kaname will be expecting him. He can't let him down...
It takes more than one smack for him to be roused from his deep sleep, swatting it away like an annoying fly — but unlike a fly, it clings to his fingers, jumping into his face again, insisting that it be read...!
And blearily, he can make out some scrawl on the otherwise white doll. He blinks, once. Twice.
And sighs.
It does take time for him to wobble out of bed, but by the time he's opening the door to let Matoba in, he has enough of his faculties to look annoyed. The blankets he's shrouded himself in really chip at the severity of it, though.]
Do you know what time it is.
[His voice is quiet and thick with sleep, but the agitation comes through nonetheless.]
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1/2 ugh
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...
A collection of texts on the Day of Kaname
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done LMFAO SORRY
(spongebob narrator vc) a few hours later
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a day after himeru bleeds and passes out
[ He sends Merumeru a cute selfie of him and a certain someone together. ]
uh-oh
[no........]
hm,
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gonna get retconned but it's fine
who give a shit, let AMAGIBIGDICK69 make phone calls
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1/4
See? Are they not cute?
i'll let you know when i'm done
This is the card they gave me. I wonder if it's best to return it? Oh, but it is rude to return gifts.
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done
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action
Things Tatsumi is currently doing: not staying in bed, not resting, and drinking plenty of fluids.
In short, while Tatsumi may not be the worst patient in the universe he's very bad at knowing his own limits. He'd felt pretty good when he first woke up, and with Mayoi having temporarily stepped out he quickly grew tired of just sitting and waiting. So he got up. Surely a quick trip downstairs won't do him any harm.
And while that has yet to be seen, there's no denying that coming down the stairs has thoroughly winded him. So now he sits at their shared kitchen table, swaying just so in his seat, with a mostly empty cup of water in front of him. He's fine, he's sure, but... maybe he should just wait here for a moment. ]
backdated to 2nd week of december
It's quiet for the middle of the day, and HiMERU supposes that most everyone is out. Well, that's no problem for him. He'll just raid the pantry and be on his way again. At least, that's the plan — until he steps into the kitchen and sees Tatsumi sitting in the middle of it.
The unwanted sight makes him immediately freeze, and for a moment, he considers just turning around and slipping out before he's noticed. But the heavy door behind him swings shut, loudly enough to not be ignored. As if to trap him. As if to spite him.
... Damn it. Might as well nip this in the bud, then.
He steps over into Tatsumi's line of sight with a bemused expression, a hand on his hip.]
Tatsumi. It's been a while. You don't look well, just as they've said. Shouldn't you still be in bed?
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action ⬢ sometime after Jan 26th
HiMERU might never know just how long it even takes Niki to send this text in the first place. He writes, deletes, and rewrites this message over and over again for a while, trying to figure out the best way to ask without sounding too needy, debating the pros and cons of letting himself be this honest, wondering if it's even okay for him to ask for anything at all. Besides, maybe it's not actually that big of a deal? He's done this before, after all. He trusted Rinne. Niki could handle this alone. He always has.
That's what he tells himself, but he hasn't felt this anxious since... that first day here. And maybe that's why he's got such a bad feeling about it now.
Today feels a lot colder than usual, but maybe it's just him. He waits patiently(?) for HiMERU wherever they decide to meet, but his nerves are acting up and he still doesn't even know what he's going to say to him. But the message is out there, they agreed, and so he's committed now. He has to say something. He'll go crazy if he doesn't.]
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Niki has... never sought him out like this before. HiMERU was almost always the only one initiating "important talks" with the others, should he discuss with them at all, and he often didn't expect Niki to absorb it. So the fact that he's approaching him now with something important leaves him anticipating. There's a number of things it could be in regards to, at this point... but he trusts Niki enough to keep it relevant at a crucial time like this. That this must be truly important, and not just "important."
So, when Niki arrives, HiMERU offers him a polite smile. Not one he feels necessary between them anymore, but on a day like this, something has him suspecting Niki needs a little kindness.]
Welcome. Feel free to sit wherever, Shiina. Would you like a drink?
[The only choices are between tea and water, but it's nice to offer anyway.]
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1/28, action......
not just because lately, his brother has been around more -- as if god heard his wish and granted it, despite the worry lines that crease HiMERU's face when he thinks kaname isn't looking -- but... in general, after that day with narukami. he can't scrap off the memories that line the kitchen she taught him in, the conversations they had and the end that befell her, nor the aftermath of it all; it sits like rust on iron, rot in wood, weakening everything around him.
it feels like he doesn't deserve to do this. but kaname wants to get his mind off the world outside anyway, and so once he's certain his brother is sleeping he puts to practice the things he learned from narukami, the improvements from shiina...
... and HiMERU won't find kaname in his bed like normal come morning, but slumped over the table in the kitchen with a blanket over his shoulders by what staff is left these days, the room itself cleaned and a small plate of chocolates by his sleeping form.
they still aren't professional. some of the pawprint, flower petal, and star solids are broken in his tired efforts to unstick them from their molds. the rounded truffles with drizzled darker cocoa look nice enough, if a little sloppy in their own way. whatever the rest of the day holds doesn't matter -- he'd still wanted to do this, and it felt like he had to after he'd so thoughtlessly pushed narukami so far. ]
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Not only the commuters from the Nest like himself, but the townsfolk too are beleaguered by their anxieties, some of them turning volatile, others succumbing to the wrinkles set in their brows and the near-constant look of tears threatening to spill over. They're scared, and they have reason to be. It's all the more reason, too, for him to be on this side.
He's spent too much time going back and forth, keeping his pessimism at bay with his pragmatism; surely with all the work he's put into this — not only him but the rest of the residents as well — they'd find an answer. A better solution than waiting for death. Surely, surely.
Their days have always been numbered, but it really does seem to be coming to the end, lately. He's wondering which of these times will be his last making the cross over. Will he be stuck on this side or that when the portal falls away?
Well, he doesn't have to wonder. There's no need for the guessing game when he can guarantee the results.
It's with those thoughts that he opens his eyes, blinking blearily at the ceiling above Kaname's bed. Morning. The world is ending just outside, but even then the sun in this pocket dimension still rises.
... The space beside him is empty. Well, that's fine. He'll just close his eyes again and— no.
No. He sits up, suddenly, eyes flying open once more. No, no. After all that's happened, he has to keep a better eye on him. HiMERU pushes himself out of bed and wobbles through the inn room, looking for any signs of where Kaname might've gone. His shoes are missing... and HiMERU hurries down the stairs, scrubbing a hand over his face and through his hair in case he needs to check outside, too — but for a mercy, he finds a spot of blue hair in the large kitchen, and he hurries over to confirm.
He's... sleeping. Good. One hand pinches the blanket and pulling it further up Kaname's shoulders, and then settles over his back. Now that he's sure his brother hadn't gone anywhere too far again, HiMERU lets himself lean against the table too, and finally looks at what's spread over it.
... Chocolates? Is this what Kaname had slipped out of bed to do?]
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02/04....
( ...normally she'd call, not text, but she's still a little choked up thanks to her knights, so bear with her. For like, at least five minutes. Man, it's so much easier to be casual and cool like this. )
A little birdie told me I shouldn't make you worry more than I already have, sooooo...
I'm okay. All in one piece! ♪ My gemstone's all good, too, since I know that's super important and everything.
You been okay, dear? You haven't gotten into any trouble like those awful Amagi boys did, have you?
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Narukami-san. It is genuinely a relief to hear you've returned safely.
So you've heard about the Amagis... No, HiMERU and his brother have escaped every danger, and that is plenty to be thankful for, given the circumstances surrounding us all.
[They totally could've died too. But they didn't!!!]
We are in the process of moving into a larger home now that we are both here to stay.
Have you made arrangements for yourself yet?
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02/15 - delivery ♪
HiMERU will find his card beside Yodaka's on the kitchen counter bright and early in the morning; they're easy to tell apart though, their names written on them in Arashi's loose script. HiMERU's card in particular is decorated with small, white baby breath's flowers made of paper along its spine, and inside is a message from Arashi: )
Dear HiMERU-chan,
Happy Valentine's Day! I'll cut to the chase on this one. Baby's breath is a flower that represents gratitude, and maybe that's not really the kind of feeling someone usually shares on such a wonderfully romantic holiday like this normally... but I really am grateful for everything you've done for me since I showed up. You can be as modest as you like, but you've totally saved my tush on more than one occasion. It's embarrassing to list them all though, so I won't!
You know, I think most people find it easier to put their feelings down on paper, but for me, it's just weirdly difficult. Your card is the third one I've written today, and yet it hasn't gotten any easier at all!!!!! It's so frustrating to discover there's still stuff out there that I'm no good at...
Maybe it's easier to write than I thought, actually, since I feel like I've gotten off track here! It's easy to do that with you anyway, though. I hope we can keep getting along from here on after, HiMERU-chan. I'm looking forward to it.
With all my love,
Arashi Narukami ❤
2/15, very early in the morning, action
kaname had decided very, very late that he was going to do something, and... yes they're going to more or less be a day late for everyone else proper, but he's been busy and his mind wrapped up in nervousness, so it's only once the reason for that nervousness is gone that he's satisfied. HiMERU's more likely to wake up than not at someone crawling into his bed late at night, but frankly kaname had been so careful and quiet in setting the chocolates where he could in his brother's room that looking at the bed where the other laid had been...
frankly, irresistible. let his brother fuss at him, he's so tired he can't begin to care right now. he'll care in the morning, but for now he's dropping on HiMERU and clinging just a little, hand clutching the other's shirt with a sweet scent wafting off him. ]
yyyyoooouuuuuuu!!!!
When his mattress dips with the weight of someone else, he doesn't completely register it at first; it's enough to make his brow furrow slightly in his sleep, but what really draws a reaction is the delicate touch, the enticing scent...
His arms stretch out perhaps a little too easily, wrapping around whatever has entered his space and drawing it closer into him. His face, too buries into a head of sweet-smelling hair, nuzzling gently as it puts him further at ease, drifting off into an even deeper sleep...]
me!!!!!!!
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action; day or two after lovefes
but he's planned to do this when kaname is probably not home. what he wants and needs is to get himeru by himself. yes, he could've done this out in public somewhere. drag the guy into an alley and make him talk (slightly w/ aggression)
knock knock.
someone's at the door.
he'll give him a few moments to answer. otherwise, he knows he can just use his phone.
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Thankfully, Leona is not made to wait long. HiMERU opens the door, thinking he'll find Kaname who's turned around and looped back after realizing he'd forgotten something — but his anticipation is dashed when he finds the beastman instead.
His blinks are slow, thick with surprise, but his expression remains still as a lake's surface even as he's careening through a thousand different emotions just beneath the facade: Shock, confusion, realization, remorse... awkwardness. Just to name a few. Sure, he's usually the one doing the dragging into alleys so that could've been a first in its own — but this sheepishness is a new sensation, too.
HiMERU steps back with the door wide open, gesturing loosely with an arm to guide Leona in.]
What a pleasant, if not unexpected surprise. Welcome. If it's Yodaka you're looking for, though... You've just missed him.
[Yeah, the brother he didn't tell you about definitely told him about you.]
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3/6, un: inyourheart
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Where did you get that from?
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3/6, un: charmingflower
It's a cute friendly picture, obivously made with a purikura-style phone all!! Look at them, best of friends, super close-- )
HiMERU-chan, I'm gonna ask you something and it's gonna define our relationship for the rest of our lives, alright? Answer honestly!!!!
Am I anything like Amagi-senpai?
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The question, however, is deserving of pause.]
Who on earth told you that? HiMERU gives his condolences.
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action ⬢ early march
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Shiina, [He exhales in quiet relief, blinking slowly at the other, then to the boxes in his hands, then back up again.] What's the occasion?
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3/20 | un: AMAGIBIGDICK69
Endless ringing. Persistent ringing. It just doesn't stop.]
this is the WOOOOOOOOOORST
Surely, this will be no different.
He answers with a dryness not unusual for Rinne, but maybe so with anyone else.]
What.
If I have to suffer so do you
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sometime in march but before the 16th, txt
he has to be perfectly fine. absolute concentration. eyes glued. he won't make a single mistake. his brother cannot know he is... well, narukami thinks something is wrong with him so his brother cannot think that there is whatever narukami thinks is wrong with him. right. okay. what was he doing this for again? oh right-- ]
taka-nii, what are semantics?
[ give him a definition like you're a dictionary. i'm so sorry he only texts his brother for this reason now. ]
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Semantics would be the study of how the meaning of words can be interpreted, especially their differences in interpretation across time and cultures.
Why do you ask?
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3/25 txt sorry
[ that's all. a warning, maybe. ]
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[Might be a little late for that, but.]
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somewheres in april before missions, hi babe!
Can you do me a favor and write down what you'd like for your birthday, HiMERU-chan? You and Yodaka-chan did such a lovely job celebrating me I like, want to make sure that I can repay that in full. ( ... ) And he already gave me plenty of ideas for his own, so I don't have to worry about him.
( Which is great. )
sometime in april
really, it's probably all HiMERU could have wanted for his little brother and more. it must be nice, being able to see him smile so brightly every day and chat about his going ons, from venting about more minor things to being giddy about others... the end of march had dampened it as much as it had everyone, of course, but time moves on, time eases all pain.
...
that pain is why kaname waited a little longer than he should've, because regardless of the playful rumors he and narukami share together shiina and amagi were important to his brother and he knows that. kaname knows loss. it what brought him to seek out hiiro, and from that conversation this one would be born.
preamble aside, kaname isn't sure where he wants to talk about it -- so he asks his brother to take a walk with him instead. while he'd love to walk under the slowly greening trees of the forest he's heard, he's seen things, past the line and knows better than to venture too close; they can go the other way, sit in the plains between the town and the church. it'll be fun.
the soundproofing of the grass'll be nice too.
but it's still hard to start, so at first it is just a pleasant time out -- maybe HiMERU has a book to read while kaname weaves the grass into the start of a basket the way akane showed him, and he thinks of how he hasn't seen her as of late. something nice and relaxing, with little chitchat. ]
... Taka-nii, [ he starts as he finally works up the courage, ] we need to talk.
[ as if they weren't already, just a lull between one topic and the next. kaname keeps his face turned down, threading the lengthy grass turn after turn. it's the only thing keeping him from trembling. ]
About us. [ -- no. ] About me.
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It was only after Amagi and Shiina had died that he realized all that was slipping away, right from his side. Sometimes it feels as though it's a result of him moving too quickly, and other times he wonders if he's been moving at all. Regardless, time doesn't stop for him or anyone else still here.
It started with counting the days, because he could never let himself forget the moment he got that call, the scene he arrived to, the way the night fell after and day rose the next, irreverent. Then the items as they cleaned the home. The forks. The spoons. The plates. The bowls. The coats. The cards. The figurines. Everything theirs, all of theirs, still theirs. He counts it, and it's useless to know, but he stores it like he's got everything more to lose, and he does.
Even Kaname. Kaname is slipping away too, even when they're walking beside each other. HiMERU would defy fate itself to keep that from happening, but that too, in a way, is surrendering to its inevitability. They were fools to ever feel safe, and while his computations keel into overdrive, silently scrambling still for a solution, he quantifies his dwindling moments in an itemized list scrawled on the walls of his brain.
Every step through their path, every turn of a page, every smiling breath, every fold of the grass. Every beat in between, where a song could've started, but didn't.]
... Yes? [He responds evenly as ever, the subtle turn of his brother's tone enough encouragement to lift his eyes up from the page, gaze falling gently on the younger boy's focused expression. Avoiding eye contact.
A gentle breeze runs against his back, tickling the ends of his hair, tied neatly at his nape. It's long. ... It's been too long.]
What's on your mind, as of late?
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