[These days, his focus is full of holes, a sign he had been taking it far too easy. Which is a hell of a sentence to say in such dire straits as these. They had made themselves too comfortable, happily playing house in this prison they've almost contented themselves to stay caged in, focusing all their energy on all the wrong things, picking up on all the details that won't ever matter and picking their teeth with the bones of red herrings, and that is why lately, he finds himself counting.
It was only after Amagi and Shiina had died that he realized all that was slipping away, right from his side. Sometimes it feels as though it's a result of him moving too quickly, and other times he wonders if he's been moving at all. Regardless, time doesn't stop for him or anyone else still here.
It started with counting the days, because he could never let himself forget the moment he got that call, the scene he arrived to, the way the night fell after and day rose the next, irreverent. Then the items as they cleaned the home. The forks. The spoons. The plates. The bowls. The coats. The cards. The figurines. Everything theirs, all of theirs, still theirs. He counts it, and it's useless to know, but he stores it like he's got everything more to lose, and he does.
Even Kaname. Kaname is slipping away too, even when they're walking beside each other. HiMERU would defy fate itself to keep that from happening, but that too, in a way, is surrendering to its inevitability. They were fools to ever feel safe, and while his computations keel into overdrive, silently scrambling still for a solution, he quantifies his dwindling moments in an itemized list scrawled on the walls of his brain.
Every step through their path, every turn of a page, every smiling breath, every fold of the grass. Every beat in between, where a song could've started, but didn't.]
... Yes? [He responds evenly as ever, the subtle turn of his brother's tone enough encouragement to lift his eyes up from the page, gaze falling gently on the younger boy's focused expression. Avoiding eye contact.
A gentle breeze runs against his back, tickling the ends of his hair, tied neatly at his nape. It's long. ... It's been too long.]
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It was only after Amagi and Shiina had died that he realized all that was slipping away, right from his side. Sometimes it feels as though it's a result of him moving too quickly, and other times he wonders if he's been moving at all. Regardless, time doesn't stop for him or anyone else still here.
It started with counting the days, because he could never let himself forget the moment he got that call, the scene he arrived to, the way the night fell after and day rose the next, irreverent. Then the items as they cleaned the home. The forks. The spoons. The plates. The bowls. The coats. The cards. The figurines. Everything theirs, all of theirs, still theirs. He counts it, and it's useless to know, but he stores it like he's got everything more to lose, and he does.
Even Kaname. Kaname is slipping away too, even when they're walking beside each other. HiMERU would defy fate itself to keep that from happening, but that too, in a way, is surrendering to its inevitability. They were fools to ever feel safe, and while his computations keel into overdrive, silently scrambling still for a solution, he quantifies his dwindling moments in an itemized list scrawled on the walls of his brain.
Every step through their path, every turn of a page, every smiling breath, every fold of the grass. Every beat in between, where a song could've started, but didn't.]
... Yes? [He responds evenly as ever, the subtle turn of his brother's tone enough encouragement to lift his eyes up from the page, gaze falling gently on the younger boy's focused expression. Avoiding eye contact.
A gentle breeze runs against his back, tickling the ends of his hair, tied neatly at his nape. It's long. ... It's been too long.]
What's on your mind, as of late?