[Reaching too far into dark spots is a great way to lose fingers, Mayoi — no matter how much solace he's found in the shadows so far.]
Like HiMERU, you seem to pay great attention to detail. However, reading too deeply into things disallows one from grasping the whole picture and missing what's important. As with red herrings, if you will.
You may recall that Kazehaya Tatsumi and HiMERU were the top idols at Reimei Academy before. As such, we were naturally rivals. If HiMERU minds Tatsumi's actions closely and his tone leans more critically, that is the most reasonable explanation why.
[Get a load of this guy. Sleuthing his own actions like there's any way to misinterpret 'killed my buzz.' But his opponent here is Mayoi, who seems to have the mental fortitude of a wet paper bag anyway, so it just might work still.]
[Mayoi absolutely feels like he's being scolded. yikes. he writes several things, but deletes them, even debates answering at all. but he started this conversation, so it would be rude to run away right now. at the very least, he won't fight back... it's impossible to really tell what someone is thinking when it's just a text message]
as expected, this is definitely my fault. forgive me, HiMERU-san. i cant help to stick my nose in where it doesnt belong!
[he's the worst. it's a good thing this is just text because Mayoi can't show that he's stuttering and quivering, and he can think about what to say before just blurting it out as usual. however, the next part of his text hints at his true nature]
what i was thinking definitely wasnt befitting of a top idol like yourself. theres no way you would be like that.
[...oh. he can't erase it because he sent it already. time to burn his phone and hide in the ceiling]
[For all his mild-mannered demeanor — 'yes senpai' this, 'no senpai' that — behind all his flattering words lies someone undeterred by rank or age or propriety in address. He's called out his elders before and he'll do it again, with just enough measured politeness to not be written off as someone too cheeky and speaking out of turn. It just helps that Mayoi acts nothing like a senior to him, and has the kind of backbone (or lack thereof) that invites poor treatment.
This man would've been crushed at Reimei. His Reimei. Not the one Kazehaya Tatsumi still squanders his days in, but the one HiMERU rose above and left behind.]
What were you thinking, then? HiMERU is very curious now.
[It's fortunate for both of them that this is just over text. Otherwise HiMERU would need to be training his expression here, so as to not show the kinds of glares he's gotten used to tossing around Amagi and Shiina, when they both know too much yet act like idiots, pretending to have nothing in those heads and making everything difficult for him.]
If it ever came down to that, HiMERU would prefer not to know about it. His inbox can hold only so many vulgarities before the messages start deleting themselves, you see.
You'd think a virus would be spamming me with that kind of content, wouldn't you? But no. It's just you. You don't have to do much to send them running, either.
they better run!!!! crazy:b's gonna eat all these second-rate tryhards for breakfast!!! speaking of breakfast im hungry merumeru 🥺 🥺🥺🥺 merumeru 🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙
HiMERU isn't sure what you're expecting, since you seem to have mistaken him for Shiina. Those puppy eyes won't get you anything here, so please try elsewhere.
Hm, you seem to have grabbed something of actual interest.
Well, acting is one of HiMERU's specialties, and he imagines the reason they're having trouble casting your opposite is because you either intimidate or act otherwise intolerable, which is hard on cast chemistry.
Basically, aren't you asking because no one else can handle your bullshit?
We're not yet in a position to be so choosy about our work, though... admittedly, this could be intriguing.
Edited (himeru would never make typos. i, however) 2022-09-03 18:38 (UTC)
[It'd be the shame of the party unit to not be invited to parties, if they weren't already accustomed to crashing them.]
Then you better use that overflowing talent to keep up with HiMERU. He won't accept any sloppiness from his co-stars, and especially not a unit mate. Unless you want to be outshone.
[HiMERU has fixed his gaze on his yogurt down below, lazily stirring just to avoid having to look in Tatsumi's direction, trying to construct his invisible wall of "absolutely don't talk to me" — but the other calls out to him nonetheless. Sigh.]
... Yes. The quieter, the better. It's rare that Crazy:B will gather this early in the day, but it does happen on occasion. Oukawa and Shiina enjoy having breakfast as a group, but Amagi often sleeps in. He tends to cause a stir whenever he does come around, though.
[ Despite his thoughtfulness and polite demeanor, he plows through walls with his good intent. Invisible signs, however glaringly obvious, mean nothing to fools who can't read them.
Hiiro thinks the world of his older brother, so HiMERU's implication is completely lost on Tatsumi. ]
I'm glad you've found such a lively group of friends. You seem to get along well with them.
[For a rarity, HiMERU seems to laugh — but it's brief enough to really be more of an incredulous snort.]
Is that how it appears to you? ... Well. Oukawa is the most level-headed, so HiMERU will concede that he enjoys his company. Shiina is... distracted, but generally well-meaning.
[He intentionally does not mention Rinne.]
The same could be said for you and your unit. Even prior to last night's incident, your dynamic is quite clear. Though you likely would've been happy in any unit.
[ Ahh, hearing HiMERU laugh is music to his ears. He can't help smiling at the sound, however brief and possibly snarky. To think after everything that happened, they could be sitting together, enjoying a pleasant meal is something he wouldn't even think to ask God for. ]
Having them in my life is a blessing I thank Him every day for. All of this still feels like a dream to me.
[ He says while staring very fondly at HiMERU's face ]
[It's such a mundane sentiment, but something about it makes HiMERU's jaw clench.
A dream. A warm, beautiful, wonderful dream that Tatsumi must be living in, even in these waking moments. How nice for him. How lucky that he gets this experience, his happily ever after, when the person who truly deserves one is—
Is he dreaming, too? Are they happy dreams? Nightmares? Or is it just darkness for him, nothing at all?
HiMERU stabs at his yogurt without lifting his gaze to the adoring look Tatsumi's giving him.]
This is no dream. After everything that's happened, this is very much 'our' reality.
[Words that don't seem to mean anything, but there's a certain weight in how they fall from his lips, even as his tone remains carefully... empty.]
[What a ridiculous question. Obviously not. What is there to be happy about, when the only person he loves was robbed of this very life? When he must play pretend like this for the sake of a future where that dear person might reap the fruits of his efforts? When he must suffer through the false niceties in the company of the very holy bastard who led his only family astray, who he's now sharing a table with, eating breakfast like nothing's wrong, or ever been wrong...]
... HiMERU loves being an idol. To continue so here and now is something to be happy for. But it did not come without a price. Even so... There is still so much HiMERU wants— no, deserves from this world, and he won't be satisfied until he obtains it all. That is why he must keep working toward his goals and executing every step perfectly.
[Did that answer the actual question? Maybe, maybe not. Nonetheless, he shoves a spoonful of yogurt and fruit into his mouth to signify he has nothing more to say on the matter.]
I'm sorry, what I meant to ask was are you having fun with it? I know HiMERU-san is a consummate professional, but—
Sorry, I know it's not my business, and it may not matter as much when you have so much you wish to accomplish, but now that you aren't alone, I hope you're able to relax and enjoy yourself, too.
[ and he'll set to eating his breakfast quietly after that. ]
[The spoon in his mouth stops him from frowning too much, but it does nothing for the soft furrow in his brow. After a moment, he drops his spoon into the yogurt again, exhaling quietly, and lifts his cup of coffee instead.]
After having only done solo work prior, being forced into a unit with strangers was certainly uncomfortable, to say the least. The learning curve was nothing short of steep. But, lately... HiMERU has gotten not only used to it, but also a feel for the style— our style.
[There's a brief sliver of a smile hidden behind the rim of his mug as he thinks back on their experiences, as a unit. Despite all the walls he still maintains, as Tatsumi says, he isn't quite so alone anymore. Now he has people genuinely interested in supporting him, whether or not those walls ever come down.]
They're a troublesome lot, yes, but... We would be a poor excuse of a party unit if we couldn't have any fun together.
[ Relief washes over him: Something Right and Good is happening. It's something necessary, with or without Tatsumi's involvement (and probably best without). The joy he feels on HiMERU's behalf swells in his heart and brings a broad smile to his face. ]
You're right about that. I think Crazy:B is quite successful in creating a lively and fun atmosphere for their audience.
[HiMERU takes a long sip of his coffee, finally chancing a quick peek up at the man seated opposite him — but he is immediately met by that Unbearably Holy smile, and his eyes drop back down to the table even faster than they had lifted.
Ahh, he wants to go... He can only tolerate Kazehaya Tatsumi in small doses, and the longer this goes on, the deeper the poison sinks.]
HiMERU has lessons after this, so once he's finished here he'll be leaving. But please, don't rush yourself; even once he's gone do stay as long as you like.
[It's better to know where annoying insects are, after all. Helps for keeping them out of unwanted spaces and, as necessary, containing them.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tfln; @cutieshark
Hm... HiMERU will do that.
[Reaching too far into dark spots is a great way to lose fingers, Mayoi — no matter how much solace he's found in the shadows so far.]
Like HiMERU, you seem to pay great attention to detail. However, reading too deeply into things disallows one from grasping the whole picture and missing what's important. As with red herrings, if you will.
You may recall that Kazehaya Tatsumi and HiMERU were the top idols at Reimei Academy before. As such, we were naturally rivals. If HiMERU minds Tatsumi's actions closely and his tone leans more critically, that is the most reasonable explanation why.
[Get a load of this guy. Sleuthing his own actions like there's any way to misinterpret 'killed my buzz.' But his opponent here is Mayoi, who seems to have the mental fortitude of a wet paper bag anyway, so it just might work still.]
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as expected, this is definitely my fault. forgive me, HiMERU-san. i cant help to stick my nose in where it doesnt belong!
[he's the worst. it's a good thing this is just text because Mayoi can't show that he's stuttering and quivering, and he can think about what to say before just blurting it out as usual. however, the next part of his text hints at his true nature]
what i was thinking definitely wasnt befitting of a top idol like yourself. theres no way you would be like that.
[...oh. he can't erase it because he sent it already. time to burn his phone and hide in the ceiling]
no subject
This man would've been crushed at Reimei. His Reimei. Not the one Kazehaya Tatsumi still squanders his days in, but the one HiMERU rose above and left behind.]
What were you thinking, then? HiMERU is very curious now.
[It's fortunate for both of them that this is just over text. Otherwise HiMERU would need to be training his expression here, so as to not show the kinds of glares he's gotten used to tossing around Amagi and Shiina, when they both know too much yet act like idiots, pretending to have nothing in those heads and making everything difficult for him.]
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it was nothing, please pay it no mind.
im sorry.
tfln 09/02; @hanikamu
If it ever came down to that, HiMERU would prefer not to know about it.
His inbox can hold only so many vulgarities before the messages start deleting themselves, you see.
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u gotta get that checked
don't worry merumeru
amagi rinne doesn't need to suck dick to make guys come 😌
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But no. It's just you.
You don't have to do much to send them running, either.
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crazy:b's gonna eat all these second-rate tryhards for breakfast!!!
speaking of breakfast im hungry
merumeru 🥺
🥺🥺🥺
merumeru
🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙🥺💙
no subject
Those puppy eyes won't get you anything here, so please try elsewhere.
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[even i'm embarrassed... please just ignore him...]
i need ur help tho fr fr
u know how they air a high school drama every year
with actors way too old for that shit?
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[ He sends HiMERU all the details anyway. He's serious. ]
they're still looking for someone who can play my rival
and idk about u merumeru
but something tells me ur a natural at this
[ At playing his rival? At pretending to be in high school? That's up to HiMERU. ]
no subject
Well, acting is one of HiMERU's specialties, and he imagines the reason they're having trouble casting your opposite is because you either intimidate or act otherwise intolerable, which is hard on cast chemistry.
Basically, aren't you asking because no one else can handle your bullshit?
We're not yet in a position to be so choosy about our work, though... admittedly, this could be intriguing.
no subject
[HiMERU's deductions are—as usual—100% correct, but does he have to make Rinne sound like the Jared Leto of ES?]
right?
i knew you'd love it!!
this opportunity is all thanks to rinne-sama's overflowing natural talent!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Then you better use that overflowing talent to keep up with HiMERU. He won't accept any sloppiness from his co-stars, and especially not a unit mate. Unless you want to be outshone.
tfln 10/14; @withbendedknee
[HiMERU has fixed his gaze on his yogurt down below, lazily stirring just to avoid having to look in Tatsumi's direction, trying to construct his invisible wall of "absolutely don't talk to me" — but the other calls out to him nonetheless. Sigh.]
... Yes. The quieter, the better. It's rare that Crazy:B will gather this early in the day, but it does happen on occasion. Oukawa and Shiina enjoy having breakfast as a group, but Amagi often sleeps in. He tends to cause a stir whenever he does come around, though.
Re: tfln 10/14; @withbendedknee
Hiiro thinks the world of his older brother, so HiMERU's implication is completely lost on Tatsumi. ]
I'm glad you've found such a lively group of friends. You seem to get along well with them.
no subject
Is that how it appears to you? ... Well. Oukawa is the most level-headed, so HiMERU will concede that he enjoys his company. Shiina is... distracted, but generally well-meaning.
[He intentionally does not mention Rinne.]
The same could be said for you and your unit. Even prior to last night's incident, your dynamic is quite clear. Though you likely would've been happy in any unit.
no subject
Having them in my life is a blessing I thank Him every day for. All of this still feels like a dream to me.
[ He says while staring very fondly at HiMERU's face ]
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A dream. A warm, beautiful, wonderful dream that Tatsumi must be living in, even in these waking moments. How nice for him. How lucky that he gets this experience, his happily ever after, when the person who truly deserves one is—
Is he dreaming, too? Are they happy dreams? Nightmares? Or is it just darkness for him, nothing at all?
HiMERU stabs at his yogurt without lifting his gaze to the adoring look Tatsumi's giving him.]
This is no dream. After everything that's happened, this is very much 'our' reality.
[Words that don't seem to mean anything, but there's a certain weight in how they fall from his lips, even as his tone remains carefully... empty.]
no subject
[ It's a very simple, innocent question, but even he knows the answer might not be— just not for the reasons that Tatsumi thinks.
For at least a minute, HiMERU is spared eye contact, as he politely thanks waitstaff for his meal. ]
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... HiMERU loves being an idol. To continue so here and now is something to be happy for. But it did not come without a price. Even so... There is still so much HiMERU wants— no, deserves from this world, and he won't be satisfied until he obtains it all. That is why he must keep working toward his goals and executing every step perfectly.
[Did that answer the actual question? Maybe, maybe not. Nonetheless, he shoves a spoonful of yogurt and fruit into his mouth to signify he has nothing more to say on the matter.]
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I'll continue to do my best, as well.
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Thanks. [Gag.] Now hurry up and eat your breakfast. Surely you have other things to be doing soon? [Please leave.]
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Sorry, I know it's not my business, and it may not matter as much when you have so much you wish to accomplish, but now that you aren't alone, I hope you're able to relax and enjoy yourself, too.
[ and he'll set to eating his breakfast quietly after that. ]
no subject
After having only done solo work prior, being forced into a unit with strangers was certainly uncomfortable, to say the least. The learning curve was nothing short of steep. But, lately... HiMERU has gotten not only used to it, but also a feel for the style— our style.
[There's a brief sliver of a smile hidden behind the rim of his mug as he thinks back on their experiences, as a unit. Despite all the walls he still maintains, as Tatsumi says, he isn't quite so alone anymore. Now he has people genuinely interested in supporting him, whether or not those walls ever come down.]
They're a troublesome lot, yes, but... We would be a poor excuse of a party unit if we couldn't have any fun together.
no subject
You're right about that. I think Crazy:B is quite successful in creating a lively and fun atmosphere for their audience.
no subject
[HiMERU takes a long sip of his coffee, finally chancing a quick peek up at the man seated opposite him — but he is immediately met by that Unbearably Holy smile, and his eyes drop back down to the table even faster than they had lifted.
Ahh, he wants to go... He can only tolerate Kazehaya Tatsumi in small doses, and the longer this goes on, the deeper the poison sinks.]
HiMERU has lessons after this, so once he's finished here he'll be leaving. But please, don't rush yourself; even once he's gone do stay as long as you like.
[It's better to know where annoying insects are, after all. Helps for keeping them out of unwanted spaces and, as necessary, containing them.]